The Importance of Displeasing People and Saying No

My team and I were discussing the stories of applicants who wanted to work for our social enterprise. As we shared stories about people who should have known better, it was a great time.

Distance is a problem.

One example is when I interviewed directly with a person. This person had an impressive resume, and I told her that it took 45 minutes to get to work. That was on a good day. “No worries,” she replied and went on to tell how excited she was to be part of my innovative team.

After a lengthy conversation, we were moving forward. Then, one day my vice president for administration received an email. (They never call personally, don’t they?) I informed her that the distance was actually a problem.

Too Complex

My friend and colleague were having discussions with her former tax attorneys. The advisors assured her that they could handle her complex returns which were international. They needed an extra month to deal with tax season because the couple was filing an extension.

The couple received a phone call from tax attorneys not too long ago. It was on Saturday night. Two months had passed since they agreed to start their returns. The tax attorneys called to inform them that the filings were too complicated and they would need to be familiar with international tax treaties. They decided to decline. This led to frustration, much scrambling, and more expensive expedited returns.

Please, say no

You’ve probably been in situations where someone says it’s a yes, but it’s not a no. It could be going out for dinner with friends and then having your friend call you last minute to inform you that “something happened.” Perhaps it is your spouse telling you they will think of something you would like to do but never giving you an answer. Maybe it’s your boss who keeps telling you that there will be a promotion if they work harder.

Can we all stop the madness? Wouldn’t it be better to know the truth on the front-end and then peel off the bandage, so to speak, so you can move on with your lives? The most successful people in business will often say “no” quite often. It’s one of the most important things you can do to help yourself and others. It conserves energy and allows you to focus on what really matters to you. You’re doing others a favor by saving them from the disappointment of more severe consequences.

Learn to say no

While many people on social media are fierce fighters with their destructive and significant attitudes, when they meet face-to-face, they’re more approachable. You don’t have to be rude or mean to people. But, it is essential that you learn how to say no. If you find yourself looking in the mirror and seeing that you are having a hard time saying no to people, then make it a habit to practice it. It will be a good thing for you and your family. You might experience some resistance and disappointment at first, but you will soon see how people value your genuine attitude.

People would rather hear the truth. If they are polite, you can then say no to them and then inform them that you have changed your mind. When you find yourself inclined to tell someone what you think they want instead of what you feel, it’s likely that you don’t really want to.